Coats and Bacon
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Elfman accepted a lot of things about his older sister. Her moodiness, her modeling, the fact that she couldn't hold a conversation without giggling, the list went on. But this? He's not so sure he can accept this. - One-shot.


Coats and Bacon

It was still rather dark when Elfman Strauss walked out of his bedroom. He yawned slightly as he padded down the hall and to the bathroom. He had to get in there, after all, before Mirajane or Lisanna. They had a basic monopoly on the darn thing. And forbid that Mirajane had a modeling gig to get to at some point in that day. Then he'd be better off just peeing in the backyard like a dog.

After a quick shower and shave, Elfman walked out of the bathroom and then headed down the hall once more, towards the kitchen.

"Morning, sis," Elfman mumbled on instinct, not even glancing at her.

There wasn't a light on in the kitchen, as the rising sunlight was more than enough to illuminate the tiled room. Mirajane was seated at the kitchen table in the center of the kitchen, a cup of coffee in front of her as she read over the paper. It was always kinda funny to him, how calm her days started out. In the next hour, she'd be up at the guild, dealing with all the drama that the place contained. From drunken brawls to unsolicited remarks from the male members, she'd have her hands full. Still, in moments like the one she was in right then, she seemed rather collected and undaunted. She did go through it every single day, after all.

"Morning, Elf," she replied softly, not wanting to wake Lisanna. It was still an adjustment to the two of them at times, knowing that their little sister was home. That she wasn't dead. Even a few years out, Mira could wake up some nights in tears, just from the memory. Then she'd remind herself that Lisanna was just in the next room and fine.

The toaster shot up some bread then and, knowing who it was for, Elfman was quick to grab a plate and bring it over to Mira. When he got over to her though, he almost did a double take.

"Cold, sis?" he asked, frowning at the oversized coat she was bundled up in. Underneath, she only wore a pair of booty shorts and a tank top. He was more focused on the coat though, staring at it for a long few seconds there. It was oddly familiar, but he just couldn't place it.

"A little," she admitted, grinning as he sat the plate on the table next to him. "Thanks, Elfman."

He frowned, ready to say something, but the sound of the shower turning on stopped him.

"Lisanna's up early," Elfman mumbled as he went back over to the fridge to make himself some eggs. Like clockwork, Mirajane offered to make them for him, but he turned her down. She did enough for him.

"She is usually a late riser, isn't she?" Elfman continued as Mira went back to the paper.

"Mmmm. Hey, look at this." She snuggled the coat closer to her, the early morning air giving her the shivers. "The mayor says-"

"Hope she doesn't think we're going on a job today," Elfman went on as he pulled the skillet out from one of the cabinets. "The girl has the energy of an ox, but I wanna hang around the guildhall today."

Still adverse to the subject, Mirajane turned the page of the newspaper, the sound of it rustling killing the conversation effectively.

"You want some eggs, sis?" he asked, just like every morning. The only thing that was off that morning was Lisanna apparently being up. And that damn coat. He could not place it, but he definitely hadn't seen it on Mirajane before. He couldn't have. It looked like a man's coat.

"No thanks. Toast is fine."

Still usual. Then why did he have such an uneasy feeling?

The tile was cool under Elfman's feet as he stood at the stove. "Winter's coming. Gonna have to turn on the heater soon, I think."

"Mmmm."

"Especially if you can't sit at the table without freezing. You're not sick are you, Mira? Because I'll stay home to care for you and send Lisanna in for you."

"No, Elf, I'm fine."

"I only-"

"I know." She turned the page again. "If I was sick, I'd tell you, huh?"

"Okay," he said slowly. "I just worry about you. Real men keep their women safe."

She giggled finally. "You're the best little brother a girl could ask for, Elf."

They both fell quiet then, though he kept glancing over at her, making sure that she didn't sniffle or sneeze. If she had so much as choked on the dry toast and made the sound of a cough, he'd have declared her ill and hauled her off to bed. Elfman had very few cares in the world other than his sisters, the big one and the little one. Even though it was usually Mirajane caring for him and Lisanna, he still saw himself as the family's ultimate protector. He was the man, after all.

"You better go get her out of the shower before she uses all the hot water," Elfman warned Mirajane. "You don't wanna be late. I can go and get her if you'd-"

"No, Elf. It's fine," Mirajane assured him. "Just focus on getting yourself ready, huh?"

"Whatever you say, sis. Will you eat some bacon at least?"

"Elfman-"

"I would just feel better if-"

"If you insist."

He always did. And he knew that she secretly loved it. He didn't like her just eating toast in the morning because he knew for a fact that she never did find time to eat anything else during the day. She worked straight through her lunch and dinner breaks for the most part. Sometimes even Master Makarov would get on her, but she'd only smile and assure him she'd find time to eat later.

He didn't want her to drop from exhaustion or something.

Elfman kissed her head, like a father or something, when he got to her, but Mira only smiled at him, finally setting the paper to the side.

"Thanks, Elfman." He got a kiss to the cheek. "Smells great. I really don't want all the fat from it, but-"

"Just eat something, Mira. You could use a little fat."

Elfman almost dropped his own plate of food at the sound of another man's voice. Looking up, he found Laxus Dreyar standing there in the doorway of the kitchen, a snarl already put on his face, as if expecting a fight.

"And I need my fucking coat. I got a train to catch. Job a few towns over."

"L-Laxus," Elfman said slowly, glancing back at his older sister who only giggled. Jumping up, she slipped the jacket off before walking over to the blonde man. Suddenly, the coat didn't just seem familiar. It seemed obvious to him. How had he not seen it before? "What-"

"I just get so cold," Mira said as she handed it over. The second it was out of her hands, she rubbed at her arms. "I-"

"I'll buy you a fucking winter coat when I get back, if that's what you want."

"Really?" Mira dropped her arms then, bouncing slightly. Then, with a clap, she said, "Now that you mention it, that is what I mean."

Grunt. He moved to slip the coat on his own body. "Can't believe you don't have one."

"Oh, I do, but I would really like a new one. I-"

Grunt. Then, patting her on the head, he used his other hand to reach into his pocket and hand her his wallet.

"Tell you what. Supposed to get colder tomorrow. Just take some jewels, eh? However much you think you need for a coat. And some mittens too."

"Really?" Opening his wallet, she quickly pulled some bills out. Elfman was still just standing there, mouth agape, as he watched the scene unfold. Mirajane and Laxus seemed oblivious to him, however. "Now that you mention it though, a new dress-"

"You got thirty seconds, Mira, to take what you want and give me the wallet back before the deal's off."

Pulling some more out, she quickly handed the wallet back, still seeming amazed with him. Not as amazed as Elfman was in that moment. Did Laxus…sleep over? Was he the one that had been in the shower?

"Deal implies you're getting something out of this too," Mira reminded as she counted the jewels in front of him, as if to make sure that Laxus knew how much she had taken. He didn't didn't seem to care much.

He only reached out to grab her chin before tilting it up. Pressing a kiss against her lips, he said, "Count your blessings, demon. I know for a fact that's enough for two dresses and two damn coats. You cleaned me the fuck out."

Giggle. "You want some back?"

Dropping her chin then, he just kissed her head and grunting. Then he walked around her and over to the stove.

"You didn't make me fucking breakfast?" he grumbled.

"Sorry, Laxus. I forgot. Did you want-"

"Forget it." Going over to the table then, though he completely ignored Elfman, he picked up one of her half eaten pieces of toast before taking a bite. Then, after downing her coffee, he headed back over to her.

"Be back in a week," he said as he walked passed, giving her a kiss while he was at it. "Stay safe."

She only giggled though before turning to watch him walk out the back door. Standing on her tiptoes, she waved and called out, "Bye, Laxus!"

Then the door was shut and it was just her and Elfman. He only blinked though, staring at her. He had given Mirajane money like it was nothing. That implied a long relationship. So how long had that been going on? And how long had it been taking place under the _same roof as him_? He was more than heated. He was on fire. The Salamander had nothing on him then.

"Mira," he ground out as she pocketed the jewels. When she glanced over at him, he only said, "What was that?"

She blinked. "Laxus, Elfman. You know Laxus. You know. He's a little older than us, has yellow hair, a scar, had Evergreen turn me to stone that time, which I haven't exactly forgiven mind you, but he's apologized. Actually, he says that if he had become guild master, he'd have kept me on, so-"

"Mirajane," Elfman said slowly. "Are you and Laxus…seeing one another?"

"Oh, yes." She went to sit down again, rubbing at her arms once more. "Quite exclusively."

He felt his fists clinch. "And how long has that been going on?"

"Oh…a few months, actually." She giggled into her palm. "He's very private though, so we don't-"

"And you've been…having relations with him?"

That finally made her frown and glance over at her little brother. "Why, Elfman, that's a very rude thing to ask of a lady."

"So you have."

"Well," she said slowly. "He did spend the night last night, so I think you should be able to-"

"Mira-"

"I know this is hard to hear, Elfman, but I have needs too." Then she giggled. "Gosh, did you think that I never have sex?"

He was positively red then, though part of it was from embarrassment as well as anger. "How did this come about then? You and the Thunder Fraud?"

"God. Thunder God." Mira made a face. "I don't see why-"

"You were clearly keeping him from me, Mirajane, so you clearly knew that it was wrong. You-"

"I wasn't doing anything, Elfman. You never like to meet the men I date."

"Date. Yes, I never like to meet the men that you date because I know nothing will come of it. You say that you and…Dreyar are exclusive though and that means-"

"It just means that he won't be with anyone else and I won't be with anyone else. I don't see why that-"

"That's a commitment, Mirajane. That practically makes you guys…boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Who? Laxus and Mira?"

Elfman looked up as Lisanna entered, rubbing at her eyes as she padded into the room in her pajamas.

"What are you doing up?" Mira asked as she passed.

"You two woke me up yelling. And plus I heard Laxus singing in the shower-"

"He does that sometimes," Mira sighed. "He thinks no one can hear-"

"You knew?" he growled at Lisanna while she only grinned.

"Big brother Elf, you're red."

Glancing over, Mira giggled at the sight of him. "What's wrong, Elfman? Are you running a fever or-"

"Shut up," he growled at them both as he turned away. They only howled in laughter. When he wouldn't join in though, Mirajane came over to him and laid a hand on his arm.

"Elfman, are you upset that I'm dating or that it's Laxus?" she asked softly as Lisanna looked on concerned.

"Are you seriously asking this, Mirajane? The guy is a jerk. I don't like him."

"You're not meant to. I am."

That got him to give her a look. "You know what I mean."

"You're being silly, Elfman. Laxus is nothing, but courteous to me. Look at this money he gave me."

He grew red again as he said, "That doesn't make you his girlfriend, Mira. That makes you his who- Ow! Mira-"

"Watch it, Elf. I'm still your big sister and I can still give you a wedgie," she said after pinching him. With that, she turned to head out of the kitchen. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal. And if his apartment hadn't been getting fumigated, I'd have slept over at his place last night anyhow. So just lose the attitude or self-righteousness, Elfman. Last time I checked, you're still sneaking out of Evergreen's backdoor too."

Lisanna looked after her sister as she walked away before going to pat the fuming Elfman on the arm.

"It's okay, Elfman," she said as she stared up at him. "I only found out after I caught them out on a date."

"A date?" he mumbled as he took a deep breath. You didn't take whores out on dates. He was honestly getting more worked up over the possibility of Laxus just using his sister for sex and paying her off. If he was taking her out though, then maybe he could deal with that.

Maybe.

"Mmmhmm. They were so cute." Lisanna dropped her hand from his arm to press it against her mouth, using it to suppress a giggle. "They were on a park bench, all snuggled up, listening to music together from his headphones. It was so cute!"

"You said that," he grumbled while she only went over to Mira's discarded breakfast.

"He really does care about her, Elfman. I know this is something new to you, but really, they've been together since, oh, the summer at least."

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm." She took a bite of bacon, reminding Elfman of something. Frowning, he started out of the room, after his older sister.

"Mirajane," he called. "I was serious about eating breakfast!"

Giggling, Lisanna only moved to take Mira's former seat. She had never seen Laxus as a good person, really, but Mira was happy with him. And given all the other stuff she had to put up with, it didn't hurt for her to have some fun in her life. It didn't hurt at all.

* * *

><p><strong>Opened a page in word to write a new Natsu and Lucy story, but then this happened. Sigh. <strong>


End file.
